let there be Lights! :)))

Be steady on your feet,

No matter the trouble you meet;

Lions make you brave.

Giants give you faith,

Death is a charade.

You don't have to feel safe to feel unafraid.

- Lights :)

the endless supply of 'drama'

when the dog bites

when the bee stings

when i'm feeling sad

I simply remember my favourite things

and then I don't feel so bad

:)

it has come to this indeed...

aku tak kisah 2 shits langsung!!!!!!

ahmad, i miss you c:

mistakes....

"mistakes after mistakes. i'll never criticize romeo again" - Edward Cullen, New Moon.

i have done a lot of mistakes in my life but only recently i felt the cascade effects of it.

i'm not sure if it started with one and led to another or whether it started with one and unfold a lot of others.

there are just too many emotions one can keep in one's chest. but there are also too many secrets one can keep telling to their friends.

buntu. i am buntu indeed. i don't know what to do. and it is torturing to not know what to do.

i see the faces on facebooks that are familiar, to get a sign - any sign - but nothing.

i opened my books, but nothing.

i was in a conversation and still nothing. - sorry sweetheart.

this is not a post if accusation. just ramblings.

it's better to pour out the abstract on writings than to get in detail with a friend, not being sure how much is there to tell.

xoxo, The Lady

why cry?

i cry far too much within this few months than the i ever had in my 18 years of life.
well some might be due to nicholas spark's signature style of killing his characters. *for the love of God!*

recently, i've been crying because of a friend.
nad. this goes to you. i'm making it public as how you made yours.

people change. i used to fight tears but now they flow like there's no tomorrow.
we used to hang out at mamak stalls and drink cheap teh O ais and have fun.
now, it feels like it's not good enough.
mamak's not good enough.
i have changed too but not good enough that i could scarcely hang around you guys that much.

jumpa sekali sekala maybe. to say hi and stuff i guess.
i don't enjoy karaoke.
i don't wanna be driving around in different cars to faraway places just because of the attraction.
i don't wanna sit in a corner thinking what did i miss?
i don't wanna be alone when i'm surrounded by you guys.

i just wanna hear you guys sing along with the radio.
i want to just park somewhere and play teka teki and laugh it out loud because they're all universally stupid.
i wanna sit in a circle with everyone and don't have to say a word to be in the conversation
i wanna feel belonged.

but i don't nad. and it's not just because of you. it's because of me.
we're growing up towards different directions.
kau terasa sebab kita bercakap pasal kau behind your back?
don't be. you've changed nad.
and i didn't even know all of these from you.
don't say aku tiba2 ditch kau from my life because since aku datang sini, i rarely hear from you.
i hear stories of you.
I AM THE ONE WHO ASKED AROUND ABOUT YOU.
diorang tak sambil lewa cakap2 pasal kau.
aku yang mintak. dan kalau aku tak mintak, maknanya aku dah tak kisah dengan apa yang dah jadi ngn hidup kau. but i don't.
i'm sorry kalau apa yang kau dengar kau tak suka, but it's the truth.
you know why kita tak bagitau kau?
sebab kita ni kawan, cakap2 nak kasi luah perasaan je. dah habis tu dah2 lah kan.

aku boleh je kasi kau cold shoulder when i picked you up. but i didn't.
whatever happened in the car on the way to pick you up was just to release all forms of anger and frustration and disappointment.
tapi nad, bila kau cakap kau sedih sebab gaduh ngn afiq time tu, i was shocked. sebab dalam phone, you said you were sad because you weren't there. and i for once believed you nad.

all of the things you've heard, i'm sorry if it breaks your heart.
i'd rather let it all out than keeping them inside. i'm not sorry you knew though.
i'm just sorry you realise you've been doing them all this while.

whatever personality you've picked up along the way since we shared secret stories and remarks together, i have to say that i'm not comfortable with it.
i know i don't have a say in it. and i don't even have the right to ask you to change.
and i won't nad.
i'll keep worrying about you, keep trying to counteract whatever ditchings you might be doing in near future, but i won't ask you to change.
i'll just keep on hoping that maybe, when the time comes and when we're like old times again, you're the old you again.

call me old fashion, call me nostalgic, call me miss-i-don't-wanna-change-a-thing, but all i ever wanted was to have fun like we used to, because believe it or not, the past is the only thing we have in common as for now.

until we sit down and have some kind of a slumber party to update on what's going on and stuff, yeap... we're friends for old times sake.

i'm sorry i'm an emotional wreck. i should've known not to put too feel to bonded, that's all.

-nil-

I've been roaming around
Always looking down at all I see
Painted faces, fill the places I cant reach

You know that I could use somebody
You know that I could use somebody

Someone like you, And all you know, And how you speak

Countless lovers under cover of the street

fireflies fly high in the sky

yesterday night was wicked! thanks to all fireflies, we had tremendous amount of FUN.

the sweat
the time
the energy
the shoutings (lol)
the strepsils
the sleep-cutting
the class-skipping

hey guys, it was worth it all. our batch started off badly in the early 1st year.

but we cheered, and everyone cheered hard.
we might not win the trophy, but we won hearts. :)

thank you fireflies. we are forever winners. woooohoooooo!!!!!!!!!

p/s : pictures and videos will be uploaded soon enough. stay tuned. c: